Urban Legends 2 And A Half: Thor's Revenge
by rocker95
Summary: When DJ gets upset and leaves the barnyard to Hollywood to start over, killings begin with a couple movie killers. It goes from Hollywood back to the barnyard. Really good story! Rated T.
1. DJ Leaves

Episode 19: Urban Legends Barnyard: Thor's Revenge

Chapter 1: DJ Leaves

This story is dedicated to a friend I hope to see again in the future. (And they're not dead.) They'll never be too far away from me.

Jennette McCurdy- Not That Far Away

It was a dark, stormy night in Coldsprings, Montana. A woman was driving an SUV down the road crying when someone in the back with a black coat and a double-sided ax rose from the back.

30 seconds later, the ax busted through the window of the driver's side.

The head on the floor spoke.

"Damn it!"

Barnyard. One year later.

Daisy was lying in a lawnchair with sunglasses on.

DJ and Lily (Alligator) sat on a red-and-white checkered blanket.

"I love you." Lily said to DJ with her hand on his face.

"Why didn't you just say so when we first met?" asked DJ.

"I really wanted you." said Lily.

DJ got up and went to his room.

John Mayer- All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

He started packing his things and looked at a picture of Ben, Otis's father.

"I wish you were still here." he said to it. "Me and Otis can't handle the duties."

Daisy walked up behind DJ with an upset look on her face.

"Why are you packing up your stuff?" asked Daisy.

"I'm leaving the barnyard." said DJ and put Ben's picture in his dufflebag. He usually talks to it when he's desperate for help.

"Why?" asked Daisy starting to have tears run down her cheeks.

"I've caused too much problems." said DJ. "A bug infestation was here on day 1. I went away to Veronica's and caused vehicles to surround the farm. Then my stupid idea for a video game character...you've had to put up with it thrice. I had to marry Lily when I was married to you."

DJ made out with Daisy.

"Bye, sweetheart." DJ said with tears in his eyes and left.

Daisy stared at the ground with tears running down her cheeks. 


	2. Classical Horror

Chapter 2: Classical Horror

The rest of the barnyard members came back from Clam Jack's.

Daisy was standing outside.

"Where's DJ?" Otis asked.

"He left the barnyard." cried Daisy.

"What?" asked Otis.

"Tell me my ears heard wrong." said Abby.

"No." said Daisy.

"Why would he leave?" asked Otis.

"He said that he caused us too much harm." said Daisy.

"Well, of course he's done harm to us, but it's not his fault!" said Otis. "It's never his fault!"

Abby stared at the ground in sorrow. She knew DJ wouldn't be her husband. (discussed in A Revenge Not To Refuse.)

Meanwhile, on the highway, DJ listened to the Humans Being intro by Mark Mancina while driving the repaired Dodge Ram. (from A Revenge Not To Refuse.) The truck was rigged to go so fast, he was in Hollywood by now.

Barnyard. Night.

Daisy couldn't sleep at night. Everytime she tried, she screamed because of absence of DJ. She just lie awake in the dark. The phone next to the bed rang.

"Hello?" answered Daisy.

"Humans can lick too." said an unfamiliar girl's voice.

"Who the f*** is this!" said Daisy.

The caller hung up.

"Someone!" cried Daisy.

Ben came into the room.

"Mom, what's wrong?" asked Ben.

"I got a phonecall." said Daisy.

"It was probably just a prank." said Ben. "What did they say?"

"Humans can lick too." said Daisy.

"Oh my god, that's an urban legend!" said Ben. "What did their voice sound like?"

"A scary girl's voice." said Daisy.

"A scary girl's voice." said Ben then realized what they said. "Oh my jeez! That's gotta be Bloody Mary!"

"Bloody Mary!" shouted Daisy. "How the hell would you think that!"

"Or it could be Brenda Bates from the original Urban Legend." said Ben.

"Impossible." said Daisy. "Brenda Bates has been dead for years."

"You'll be surprised." said Ben. 


	3. Strike Two

Chapter 3: Strike Two

Hollywood.

DJ was sitting in a director's seat with blue jeans, black boots, an olive green hat and an olive green jacket with the words Darius written in red cursive on a pocket on.

"Cut!" said a male and came off the stage.

"Okay, this isn't working out." he said. "I need a new storyline."

"I've got one." said DJ.

"Who are you again?" asked the guy.

"Darius Drucker." DJ lied.

"Well, hi. My name is Jared Dartrum."

"Do you like a good animal story?" asked DJ.

"You can shoot your thoughts at me." said Jared.

"A teen bull is in love with a really pretty teen cow who later gets pregnant by him. But late the year she gets pregnant, the bull is drowned in a flood. He comes back as the most powerful animal in the world. He then makes his way to a new farm ressurrected with a new wife and a 50s car. From that year forward, he vows to keep the farm safe, but all he does is makes matters worse. So, one year after he arrives, he leaves feeling sorry for ever causing them pain."

"Wow. That's sad." said Jared. "How'd you come up with that so fast?"

"It's just a suburban legend." lied DJ.

"Oh." said Jared.

"Let's wrap it up for today." said DJ.

"Alright. Go to lunch room 216. My buddy, Larry Portman will show you where we sit. I'll be there in a minute." said Jared.

"See you there." said DJ and walked out the door.

Jared's cellphone rings.

"Hello?" Jared answered.

"You're going to die today." said a guy's voice.

"Whoever you are, you don't know your urban legends very well." said Jared.

"This isn't the one about the babysitter and the house. There's something in the soda machine." said the voice. "Something very valuable to you."

Jared hung up and went over to a soda machine which was by a water fountain.

A golden sparkle came from the machine.

It was a gold watch.

He went up, put his hand up in the machine then it got stuck.

"Someone, help!" shouted Jared.

Then, a figure with a coat like Brenda Bates' from Urban Legend showed up.

"Oh, thank you! Please help me!" begged Jared.

Then, "she" put her arm on top of the pop machine.

"What are you doing?" asked Jared.

"She" acted like "she" was going to tip the pop machine forward.

"Someone, help me!" screamed Jared.

The coated figure ("she") tipped the pop machine forward smashing Jared.  



	4. First & Final Day Of Hollywood

Chapter 4: First & Final Day Of Hollywood

Barnyard.

Daisy, Ben, Chris, Miracle, Bessy, Abby, Otis, Joey, Kacey and Gage were at big Ben's grave. It was the day he died six years later.

Otis and Daisy stayed at Ben's grave while the others went back to the barn.

"Hey pops." said Otis starting to cry. "I'm so sorry I was there for you in 2006. And that I treated you wrong. But if I had to pick a night to re-do, I would choose then, because I really wish you were here. I've been trying to keep the farm safe, but it hasn't worked."

Otis went and sat down on a log.

Daisy stayed at Ben's grave a little longer trying to think of nice things to say about him and DJ but couldn't, so she just stood there then walked over to Otis.

"What's wrong?" asked Otis. "You didn't know him."

"Ben reminds me of DJ. I miss DJ." said Daisy.

"DJ won't be back." said Otis. "Daisy, I would never hurt you like this."

Otis kissed Daisy. It was the first time since 2006.

"Stop. This feels wrong." said Daisy.

"How?" asked Otis.

"I have faith DJ will be back." said Daisy.

"I don't believe he will." said Otis.

"You're jealous aren't you?" asked Daisy.

"How did you even get the idea?" Otis asked sarcastically.

"Well, you had your chance to be with me, but you blew it." said Daisy. "You fell for Abby. That's when you lost me."

Hollywood.

DJ, Larry and Lindy; Jared's sister were at the crime scene.

"How could this happen?" asked Lindy.

"I'm sorry." said Larry.

"It's gotta be someone who knows about urban legends." DJ thought.

"I'll be in my room." said DJ and went into his dressing room.

DJ stared in the mirror with his disguise off then looked at the picture of big Ben.

"Ben, I don't know what to do. I've tried." said DJ.

"Do whatever your heart says is right." said Ben from behind him.

DJ turned around and Ben had a golden glow, wings and a halo.

The two sat on DJ's couch.

"I can't go back." said DJ. "I don't wanna cause anymore issues."

"I understand that, but right now, they need you. They miss you a lot." said Ben.

"But all the things I've-"

"Don't worry about the flaws." said Ben. "You've got a special gift-your powers."

"My powers." said DJ sarcastically. "Yeah, that's how I ended up here."

"Just listen to me." said Ben. "As long as you know right from wrong and fix things, it'll be okay."

"Thanks, Ben." said DJ. "You're like the father I wish I had...and my hero."

"Thank you, son." said Ben. "I've gotta go."

Then, Ben's angel disappeared.

There was a knock on the door.

"Uh...I'm naked!" said DJ.

"I don't wanna know!" a guy's voice said from behind the door.

DJ put on a red shirt, black pants, white shoes and a black hat.

"Come in!" said DJ so the guy came in. "It is sort of hard to explain."

"No, I get it! You don't feel loved..."

"What!" shouted DJ. "No! I'm seeing someone!" he lied.

"Oh." said the guy. "Lindy and Larry are dead."

"How?" asked DJ.

"Some guy with a black leather trench cot and a black fencing mask killed them with an axe."

Radio: "There are reports of a tanker and a station wagon causing mayhem heading east."

"I'm leaving this town." said DJ and started packing his things.  



	5. The End Of The Legacy

Chapter 5: The End Of The Legacy

CKY- Familiar Realm

On the road eastward, the two vehicles were our main killers. The fencing killer drove the semi with an oil trailer on the proper side of the road while the coat killer drove the station wagon on the improper side beside the semi. There were flames and dents on the semi's grill.

A black car drove down the station wagon's lane then swerved and crashed into the semi exploding it.

That's when DJ showed up and shot the gas tank. Neither of the vehicles seemed to have noticed as they had kept going, but as soon as the tank was shot, DJ stopped in his tracks. He threw a lit match into the gasoline which when ignited, finally got its way to the station wagon exploding both vehicles because of how close they were to each other.

DJ walked over to the flaming vehicle parts and found no sign of them dead.

"No!" said DJ.

By this time, they had made it to the barnyard by using DJ's speed machine.

In Hollywood, DJ assembled a new one within a second and this time installed it on the hood of th Dodge Ram.

At the barnyard, the two killers got out of their vehicles.

Daisy's P.O.V.

There were two of them:

"Brenda" from Urban Legend and "The Faceless Killer" from Urban Legends: Final Cut. Then I noticed Abby and Otis going to their room (which had walls). Next thing I know is a scream from them came from the room.

Another "Brenda" walked out with an ax just like her's and a bloody end.

They put down their hood and it was Abby. Her hair was long, she had eye shadow and lipstick on.

"Surprise!" said Abby. "I faked my scream and beat you two to Otis's death. If you want revenge, let's go outside so we don't have to make a mess in here yet."

So the three went outside.

A black monster truck, a blue monster truck and a camouflage SUV came and characters hit the two unmasked people in the back of the head with shovels.

"Great work, guys!" said Abby.

They turned out to be Crazy Eyes, Rico & Big Bluey from the Back At The Barnyard TV episode: Udderado. (And if you've never seen it, the three are little unicorns that talk like gangsters and beat up a cowboy.)

Crazy Eyes got in the camouflage SUV, Rico got in the black monster truck and Big Bluey got in the blue monster truck.

Then quickly DJ's car came.

"Let's unmask these creeps." said Daisy.

DJ took "The Faceless Killer"'s mask off and put "Brenda"'s hood down. It was Thor and Prunella! Prunella's ghost disappeared.

DJ held a circular voice changer up to his mouth and said "It was a simple game, Thor. You shouldn't have killed anyone.-"

"You can't kill anyone, you don't have it in ya. That's my job." said Thor.

DJ threw the voice changer which landed in the back of Big Bluey's monster truck.

"Really?" asked DJ. "We'll see about that!" he said holding up a hook as used in I Know What You Did Last Summer.

"Off with the head!" said DJ and cut Thor's head off.

Halloween theme from the end of Halloween H20.

"Otis!" called Abby. "You can come out now!"

Following year.

Abby was getting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her when she noticed a yellow post-it on the mirror.

She took it off and it read: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. She SHRIEKED!

Next morning.

DJ started drumming a tune on a toaster in the barn.

(Singing)"Get up in the morning 'bout six a.m. Have a little jelly have a little jam. Take a piece of bread put it in the slot."

He was on the stage with a microphone in the spotlight by now.

(Singing)"Press down on the lever and the wires get hot I get toast."

The ceiling lights turned on revealing a room full of animals.

"Sing with me!" shouted DJ.

(All singing, but screaming) "Yeah, toast! Yeah, toast! French toast! French toast!"

DJ winked at the audience.

THE END

Otis...Chris Hardwick

Abby...Leigh-Allyn Baker

Pip...Jeff Garcia

Pig...Tino Insana

Duke...Dom Irrera

Peck...Rob Paulsen

Freddy...Cam Clarke

Bessy...Wanda Sykes

Daisy...Courteney Cox Arquette

Ben...Sam Elliott

Chris...Christopher Miller (himself)

Nate...Nathan McCarty (himself)

Jacob...Jacoby Trimble (himself)

Teresa Miller...herself 


End file.
